


do you still love me?

by reddies_spaghetti



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Frank Kaspbrak Is A Good Dad, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Good Boyfriend, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 03:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddies_spaghetti/pseuds/reddies_spaghetti
Summary: He laid there for what felt like hours, until he heard a light knock on his door. Knowing who was on the other side, Eddie slipped off of his bed and unlocked the door, pulling it open.His dad stood on the other side, holding two cups of hot chocolate, topped with cream and marshmallows and wearing a confused frown on his face. “I thought maybe we could talk? Father to son?”With a nod of his head, Eddie accepted one of the cups from his dad and stepped to the side to let him in. He closed and locked the door behind him, as the last thing he needed was for his mother to come barging in when he was mid-confession. Once they were comfortable on the bed, Eddie opened his mouth to talk.





	do you still love me?

**Author's Note:**

> An idea that just wouldn't leave me alone, and well I love Frank being a great dad and not being dead. Eddie deserves all the love! <3

Eddie nervously wrung his fingers together as he walked up the path towards his house. He could see that the light was on in the living room, which meant either his father was home early from work, or his mother was still awake. Eddie hoped it was the former as he really didn’t want to face this with only his mother. He knew deep down that if he said what he needed to say to his mother alone, she would cast him out in the street, or lock him in his room regardless. If he had his father there however, there was a small chance that he would take Eddie’s side.

At least, that was what Eddie hoped. If his dad sided with his mother, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

So much had happened over the past few hours, so many unexpected events, so many harsh words thrown around in anger. Eddie had no idea what was going to happen where his friends were concerned...where his boyfriend was concerned, but right now his main focus was his parents.

He had to tell them before somebody else did. Like Sharon at the Bingo his mother frequented.

Unable to put the inevitable off for any longer, Eddie inhaled a deep breath and stepped up onto the porch, reaching a shaky hand out to turn the handle of the door. He pushed it open, the creaking sound making it clear that the hinges needed oil, and walked inside. The sound of the television filtered through to the hallway and Eddie felt his heart sink as it meant his father wasn’t home yet.

After toeing off his shoes, he peaked around the corner into the living room and sure enough, his mother was sitting in her usual chair, but this time instead of being wide awake and waiting for him, she was asleep. A breath fell from Eddie’s lips as he realised that he still had some time to think about what to say, and how he was going to say it. It seemed as though the universe was not on his side, because as soon as he turned to head to his room, his mother’s voice called after him.

“Eddie-bear, where have you been?”

Eddie winced and turned back around, his whole frame rigid as he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch opposite his mother. “I was out with my friends.”

“It’s late,” she pondered, taking a glance at the clock. “You know I hate it when you’re out so late, anything could happen to you, and then what?”

“I wasn’t alone, ma. I was with my friends.” Eddie repeated, already feeling the frustration towards his mother and her coddling building up inside him. Even when his dad was here to defend him, she would always make some sort of fuss.

“You mean those delinquents you call friends? They are no good for you Eddie, they’ll get you into trouble.” She hummed, picking up the remote to flick through the channels. Eddie glanced down at his hands nervously, but she seemed to pick up on his, turning her attention back to him. “Is there something you wish to tell me?”

“I wanted to wait until dad got home, its um, kind of something I wanted to tell you both together,” Eddie stammered out. He watched as a look passed over his mother’s face, it was brief, but it was there. It was nothing short of a look of disdain. A look she gave his friends when they came to the door. But why would she give a look like that at the mention of his dad?

“You can tell me now, and then your dad later. It surely can’t be that hard to repeat it twice,” she eventually said, staring at Eddie, burning a hole into his head under her gaze. “Out with it Eddie, come on.”

Eddie paused for a few seconds, but when it became clear that his mother wasn’t going to back down, he sucked in a deep breath. “O-okay. Well, the thing is. Ma...I’m-”

Just then the front door opened, and the familiar presence of his dad breezed through the house, causing Eddie to relax. “I’m home!”

“Frank, come in here for a moment. Eddie has something he’d like to share with us.” His mother barked, her tone harsh which made Eddie wince. Had his dad upset her in some way?

Frank popped his head around the corner, meeting Eddie’s eyes as he smiled. “Hey kid, let me take my shoes off and I’ll be right in okay?”

Eddie nodded his head, happy to have those extra few minutes to breathe. Before he knew it, his dad was back and sitting on the opposite side of the couch to him. His mother crossed her arms, “Well?”

With both of his parents in the room, one of which would probably faint in shock the moment the words left his lips, Eddie felt his throat close up. All the confidence he thought he had was gone, and in its place was pure, unadulterated fear. He was terrified of what would happen, terrified of the fact that he had no choice in the matter but to tell them the truth. If Eddie didn’t tell them right now, they would find out from the next person they spoke to on the street.

Eddie was surprised that his dad didn’t already know. Hell, he maybe already _did._

As two pairs of eyes stared at him, waiting for his words to fall from his lips, Eddie jumped up from the couch, shaking his head as he rushed to the door. “I- I can’t.” He stumbled up the stairs and barrelled into his room, locking the door behind him. His breathing was coming out in harsh pants, and he could feel tears prick at the edge of his eyes. The events of the day crumbling around him.

He slowly made his way over to his bed, collapsing on his front and burying his face into the pillows. He laid there for what felt like hours, until he heard a light knock on his door. Knowing who was on the other side, Eddie slipped off of his bed and unlocked the door, pulling it open.

His dad stood on the other side, holding two cups of hot chocolate, topped with cream and marshmallows and wearing a confused frown on his face. “I thought maybe we could talk? Father to son?”

With a nod of his head, Eddie accepted one of the cups from his dad and stepped to the side to let him in. He closed and locked the door behind him, as the last thing he needed was for his mother to come barging in when he was mid-confession. Once they were comfortable on the bed, Eddie opened his mouth to talk.   
**“** I-I just wanted to say first...before I tell you anything. I want you to know that I’m not a different person, I’m not going to change just because the world thinks I have to…” he whispered and looked up at his dad. “I- dad...I’m gay. I like men...I’m attracted to men. I’ve known since I was fourteen but...I guess I was just too scared to tell you, or more to tell ma. I know that this must be a lot to take in but...please, please tell me that you still love me.”

The silence that followed was almost deafening. The more his father remained silent, the more Eddie’s throat closed up. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to plan what he could pack in the worst case that he was kicked out of the house. Then, a hand placed itself gently on his knee, causing him to jump as his head turned to face his dad.

His expression was soft, eyes wet with unshed tears. “Eddie…” he started and cleared his throat. ”Eddie why wouldn’t I still love you?” He asked, voice serious.

“Because I’m not- i’m not normal...I’m not going to marry a woman and you’re not going to have biological grandkids,” Eddie choked, bringing his hands up to cover his face, trying to stop the tears.

“Eddie,” his dad’s voice was softer now as he sat his cup on the bedside table and placed his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “Eddie you could tell me that you were shaving off all of your hair and were joining a cult and I’d still love you. Would I be concerned? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I would love you any less. You’re my son, I used to walk you around Derry strapped to my chest, I taught you how to walk, talk, to be the man you are today and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Whether you like men, women or aren’t interested at all, my love for you is never going to change.”

Eddie let out a quiet sob at his dad’s words and he shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around his dad’s neck in a hug. “I love you dad, I’m sorry I was so scared.”

“It’s alright to be scared,” his dad whispered, rubbing his back. “Everyone is scared of something, but I just want you to know that if you ever feel scared like that again, please come talk to me? I’ll always listen to anything you have to say and nothing you say is going to be stupid or unimportant in my eyes.”

“Alright,” Eddie whispered and his fingers started picking at the bed sheets. “Can I start now?”

“Of course, is there something on your mind?” His dad asked, expression open and ready to listen.

“You and ma. What’s going on?” he blurted out, but maintained eye contact.

The mood changed like a light switch. His father’s expression turned from soft to guilty in a matter of seconds. The hand that was on his shoulder fell and moved to his hair, an act that Eddie himself was also guilty of doing when a subject that he didn’t want to talk about was breached. “Eddie…”

“You said I could ask you about anything. What’s going on? Ma’s been weird, and you’ve been taking later shifts at the fire station just so you don’t have to sleep at home. Talk to me, I’m not a child anymore, I want to know what’s going on,” Eddie rushed out.

“You’re right,” his dad admitted. “You’re right that I haven’t been around much and I’m sorry for that. I never thought about how it would affect you with me not being here. I was more concerned about how it would affect you _with_ me being here.”

“What do you mean?”

“So you know when you went away to the Lake-house with Maggie, Went and Richie over the summer for those two week?” Eddie nodded at the question so his father continued. “Well, when you were gone I sat your mother down to talk about you, about your future. I brought up that you were thinking of going to New York, or even California depending on the right medical programme you were accepted to. Let’s just say she never reacted well, according to her she wanted you to stay and go to U-Maine so that you would be close to home. There was no talk of what you wanted, about what was best for you, it was only about what she wanted and...and I had had enough. I called her out on the way she treats you, the way she coddles you and the way she treats your friends so disgustingly. The argument ended with her throwing a vase at me, and I had to go to the hospital.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, “The scar above your eyebrow you said you got on the job...that was ma?”

“That was your mother, yes.” His dad took a few more breaths before continuing. “Before I had even moved to clean up the mess, she was screaming at me, about how she thought I’d have taken her side when it came to you. I said that I only wanted what was best for you, and if going away to college was what was best, then that was perfectly fine with me. When she realised that I wasn’t going to change my mind, she asked me for a divorce.”

“You- you and ma are splitting up?” Eddie whispered.

“It’s for the best. We all know that. The one thing keeping us together was you, and now that the subject of you had been breached, there was no common ground, there was no...peace in the house. Every time I would come home your mother would be cold and distant, as though I had betrayed her by going against her thoughts. So I started taking up more shifts at night, so it wouldn’t raise questions with you as to why I was sleeping in the couch, or in the spare bedroom.”

“Couldn’t you have just told me?” Eddie asked softly, confused.

“You were in the middle of college applications, and we- I didn’t want to distract you with this kind of news. We were going to wait until after Christmas and then sit you down as a family but...I know I should have told you before now and I’m sorry.”

Eddie didn’t speak for a while, letting the information settle in his mind. His parents were getting divorced, splitting up, going their separate ways and whilst Eddie knew that he should feel sad, all he felt was relief. “It’s okay dad...you’re doing what’s best for you, and for ma.”

“So you’re...not mad?” His dad asked carefully.

“No, I’m not mad.” Eddie whispered. “I’ll still see you right? You’ll still come to visit?”

“Eddie.” His dad’s hands were back on his shoulders. “I’m not going to leave you here. If you want, I would like it if you came to live with me.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he nodded his head so fast he was sure he would break his neck, “Yes. Yes.”

“Good, you know I only want what’s best for you right?” Eddie nodded his head. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Eddie paused. There was one more thing.

“The reason I came out tonight,” Eddie whispered. “First...before I go into details about what happened I want you to know that...I’m dating someone.”

“Is it Richie?” His dad asked and Eddie choked on his breath, his eyes widening.

“How- how did you know?”  
  
 **“** Kid, you two have been inseparable since you were kids. There has _always_ been something between the two of you. Platonic or not.” He grinned and Eddie felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“Yes I’m...I’m dating Richie. We have been since last summer.” Eddie cleared his throat and wiped his palms on the bed. “We were always so careful. Only our friends knew about us and they were also careful. I love him dad, I love him so much but...there is a very fair chance that I’ve ruined everything with the way I reacted earlier. Not just with Richie, but with my friends too.”

“What happened?”

“We were at the Aladdin, just a regular Friday night out. We sat right at the back of the theatre and Richie and I were sitting together, holding hands as we always did. It was basically empty and no-one really bothered us when we were there. But then Henry Bowers came in with his friends and...and one of them saw Richie and I holding hands. After the movie was finished they confronted us outside and threatened to tell both of our parents and broadcast it around school, which they will do because they’re assholes. I panicked and I started freaking out and when Richie tried to comfort me I pushed him away. I told him that it was a bad idea for us to hold hands in public, I told him that he shouldn’t have pushed it. Then, when the others tried to step in I snapped at them too, I told them that they were bad friends, and they shouldn’t have encouraged it.” Eddie stopped, taking a deep breath. “I’m such an asshole, and Richie’s face was so hurt...he just turned and walked away from me. I wanted to go after him, but the thought of you...or ma finding out my secret from someone else? It overcame anything else, so I came home.”

“First of all,” his dad started after a few moments. “Richie is first and foremost your best friend. I don’t think anything could make him hate you. Yes, what you said hurt and he probably needed to walk off and think but he’ll come round once he realises that you were just mad. Second, your friends love you too, and they won’t hold a grudge against you for snapping under pressure, and if they do well, what friends are they really?”

Eddie let his dad’s words sink in, and as he opened his mouth to talk, the beeper started going off. “Is that?”

“A call,” his dad nodded rushing to his feet. “Don’t worry okay? Everything will be fine. I love you okay?”

“I love you too, dad.”

Eddie lay back on his bed as he heard the fire engine approach the house and stop outside. From his window he could hear his dad conversing with his team as he climbed into the truck before it zoomed away into the night to complete the job they had been called out to do. The house fell into silence, the only sound being the tv from downstairs crackling away.

Just as he was about to succumb to sleep, a familiar tapping from his window jolted Eddie to full alertness. He slipped off of his bed and pulled his curtains apart, eyes widening as he met the concerned gaze of his boyfriend. Eddie quickly opened the window, letting Richie climb in and he crossed the room to lock the door. “Richie...what are you doing here?”

“I heard the Fire Engine, is your dad?”

Eddie nodded, “He just left...but it’s fine. He’s always fine.” Even though his words were true, it didn’t stop Eddie from worrying about his dad. The job he was in was life threatening with every call out and no matter how experienced he was in his profession, things could still go wrong at any turn. He looked back up at Richie, who was scratching the back of his neck. “Are you really mad at me?”

Richie looked up, their eyes meeting and his shoulders slumped. “I was...I was upset, then I was mad, and then I was upset again. That whole process lasted around five minutes because I know you were panicking. I know that you were scared about having to come out to your parents, and suddenly you either had to do it tonight or someone else would do it for you. After I realised that the anger went away.”

Not able to help himself, Eddie crawled across the bed and slid into Richie’s lap, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he whispered into Richie’s neck.

“Eds, it’s okay,” Richie whispered, holding onto him tight. “How did it go?” He asked.

“I told my dad...but not my mom.” Eddie answered softly. Richie pressed a kiss to his hair and trailed his fingers up and down his back. “My parents are getting a divorce.”

Richie’s hand stilled and he pulled back to meet Eddie’s eyes. “What?”

Eddie broke into the tale of what had happened that night with his dad. Richie remained silent, listening to every word that spilled out of Eddie’s lips. When he was finished, he relaxed back against Richie and closed his eyes. “So I think my dad and I will be moving soon.”

“Out of Derry?” Richie asked quietly.

“I doubt it, he loves his job too much, and he knows how hurt I’d be if he moved me away from you,” Eddie hummed, nuzzling Richie’s neck.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your dad?” Richie chuckled and Eddie smacked his side, pulling back to look at him. He reached his hands up to cup Richie’s cheek, brushing his thumbs over his sharp cheekbones. Richie hummed, closing his eyes, “What is it?”

“I love you,” Eddie breathed, “I love you and I’m sorry for being an asshole to you earlier. I love holding your hand no matter where we are and...and I think that this is good because now I can kiss you wherever and whenever I want to.”

Richie raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Is that so?”

“Mhm, it really is,” Eddie grinned and leaned forward, capturing Richie’s lips in a soft, but firm kiss. Richie groaned, deepening it as he pushed his tongue passed Eddie’s lips and flipped them over to he was on top, placed between Eddie’s parted legs. “We have to be quiet…”

Richie grinned, kissing down Eddie’s jaw, the gasps that Eddie gave in response only spurring him on. “Better be quiet then baby,” he whispered, moving back up to kiss his lips again. “I love you too, you know.”

“I know,” Eddie whispered.

They still had the rest of the school to face, as well as Eddie’s mother as Henry would have the news splattered everywhere come morning. But right then, in the comfort of Eddie’s room with Richie holding him tight, as well as the knowledge that his dad accepted him, everything was perfect.


End file.
